Tuesday, October 30, 2007

My Golden Girls

As I was feeding Cooper his usual 3 AM bottle earlier today, I was suddenly, inexplicably struck by how much I miss my girlfriends. Sitting in the dark, cradling my son, I was overwhelmed by how much I longed for the camaraderie that once fueled my very soul. When I was in junior high and high school talking and being with my BFFs was like breathing — life would have ceased to exist without it.

Naively, I had assumed things would always be this way.

Flash-forward to today and I can’t even recall the last time I chatted on the phone with an old friend. An occasional e-mail is now the most I can muster and I don’t know why. I have been trying to schedule a lunch with one dear girlfriend for not months, but years now. Years! I just received an e-mail from another friend announcing that she’d had her baby last Wednesday — I didn’t even realize her due date had come and gone. Another is due to give birth the first of November and I have only seen her one time during her entire pregnancy.

At what point does life become so crammed with “stuff” that friendships no longer fit?

It’s inevitable that as we get older and hit the hallmarks of adulthood that relationships will change. Best girlfriends are often replaced by best hubbys (in my case especially). Afternoons spent gossiping are now spent giggling with our bundles of joy. These things I would never, ever change. But I would love to figure out how to mix in more. I feel so detached and a part from the lives of my friends. Life is flying by and I am haunted by the urgency to reconnect.

Chris chats almost daily with his childhood best friend. And I am often amazed at how incredibly envious I am. The ease at which they have been able to keep their friendship thriving is a testament to the way things should work.

But I wonder, are guys immune to the impacts of everyday life or do they just prioritize friendships higher on the food chain? Do all late -20s ladies feel the way I do? Or am I some how single-handedly shutting out this very crucial part of life?

I hope to somehow rectify what I feel I have lost, but for now, I’d just like to send this message out to all of the gals who have helped shape the very person I
am: Please know that an absence of phone calls and visits does not mean there is absence in my heart. You are all in my thoughts and prayers daily — for your promotions, your self-started businesses, your marriages, your pregnancies, your babies, your lives.

I wish you all every happiness.

Here’s hoping that a lunch date, play date or just a chat on the phone is in our near future.

There’s a miracle of friendship
that dwells within the heart
And you don’t know how it happens
or where it gets its start
But the happiness it brings you
always gives a special lift
And you realize that friendship
Is God’s most perfect gift.

-smell you later-
Coop’s Mom (aka Tessa)

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