free & clear

Yeah, baby! Next Tuesday is gonna’ be HUGE at our house. After one final payment of $1,045.37, Cooper Michael Falk will be ours, all ours, free and clear.

Though it seemed iffy (ok, more like a definite) at times (many, many times) during the past 10 months as we plowed through thousands of dollars of baby debt, I’m thrilled to report there will be no harassing phone calls, no hate letters, no big, smelly repo man banging on our door threatening to take Coop back to the hospital for failure to pay.

We did it, he's almost paid off and never once did he have to go without diapers/wipes/food/clothes/toys/medicine/shampoo/soap/bouncers/swings in order to make that happen!

That baby ain't going nowhere (except to his crib for a nap!).

Aww, the sweet, sweet smell of baby-debt relief, niiiiiice. (now on to that damn college fund!)

The Last Supper

Last Saturday, following a 5-hour Dave Ramsey get-your-butt-outta’-debt seminar, Chris and I and our two BFFs, Byron and Stacie, took the title as the Four. Dumbest. People. On. The. Planet.

Why?

Immediately following the aforementioned get-your-butt-outta’-debt seminar the four of us, all drunk on hope and optimism about crawling out of poverty and into the millionaire’s club, headed to dinner.

At a steakhouse.

An expensive steakhouse.

In three hours, over candlelight, cocktails and great conversation (oh, and lobster, steak and dessert) the four of us reborn “penny pinchers” somehow managed to rack up a bill so great that we collectively fainted when the check arrived.

OK, maybe we didn’t faint. But we should have. Maybe then, the waiter would’ve taken pity on us.

The grand total for the recent Dave Ramsey graduates?

A whopping $XXX. (I had planned to fess up to the amount, but after the hubby threatened me with death, dismemberment and/or divorce if I did, I thought better of it.)

Let’s just say it wasn’t pretty. It may, in fact, have been the ugliest thing any of us had ever laid eyes on (well, except for that scene in Along Came Polly when Ben Stiller gets faced by the enormously hairy, enormously sweaty naked guy during a basketball game).

Here’s to strong drinks … and strong stomachs.

The next day, after Byron and Stacie were on their way home and Chris had polished off the hundreds of dollars in leftovers, we promptly cut up the credit cards and resolved never, ever to be THAT stupid again.

Though the morsel-riffic taste of steak and lobster is all but a distant memory, the overwhelming sense of irony (and idiocy) of the day lingers on.

Lesson learned (i hope).

Good Baby = Bad Mommy

What do you get when you mix a spending-deprived woman, an outlet mall, some “extra” cash, a beautiful afternoon and one HAPPY baby?

One BAD mommy!!!

Since we started the debt diet, anytime that I was jonesing for a quick retail fix, I would load up Cooper and head to the baby department at Super Target … I knew that whatever I bought would be inexpensive (hello, I’m addicted to their $3.99 “funny” onesies that he’ll stain with green peas on the first wear around) and ultimately benefit the babe. Bonus? While Coop LOVES to be in the stroller checking out the action, ultimately he gets fussy about 30 minutes to an hour in … he’s like a built-in budget blocker. His crying fits always have me streaming to the car before I can get in over my head … good boy — he knows Mommy’s not to be trusted.

But yesterday my budget-conscious baby was of absolutely no help to my weakened shopper’s soul. I got paid on Wednesday for the focus group I participated in (so fun, recommend it to anyone needing some extra cash) and also (finally) received my check for two articles I wrote for DallasChild and babydallas — yay! And since I’d survived 4 days without Daddy back-up, I thought I deserved a modest spending “spree.”

Chris and I (wanting to stay respectful of the budget) discussed what I’d spend — max — and then Coop and I headed to the Allen Outlet Mall to check out the uber deals.

We plowed through the first quarter of stores without even batting an eye. Coop was LOVING the fresh air and I was LOVING the fact that I could shop without buyer’s remorse … the first time in months … yippee. But, by the time we hit Baby Gap I was sunk. Denim jackets and overalls and onesies, oh my! I blew through half of my “afternoon allowance” before the 12-year-old cashier could say, “debit or credit?”

“Oh well,” I thought, as I hit Osh Kosh B’gosh, “I may look like crap, but I’ll have the cutest dressed babe on the block.” After all, I’ve come to realize that once you have a tike, no one looks at mom anyway. =)

After rounding our way around the megaplex nearly four hours later, taking time out for a bottle and nap (Cooper) and a Diet Coke and mini-cinibun (me), I had exceeded my allotted chunk of change by nearly double — oops!

Coop was just being so incredibly accommodating and precious and I was having so much fun finding bargains that I just couldn’t control myself. I was like that girl who’s been on a fasting diet for a week and then heads to an all-you-can-eat buffet: Whoa, Mama, look out! It was madness.

Just hope I’m holding the baby when Chris finds those receipts. =)

-smell you later-
Coop’s Mom (aka Tessa)

p.s. The pic is of Coop during our bottle-bun break. Poor guy just can't hang, lol.

Bill(Me) the Kid Part 6

Holy Hannah. I completely blanked on the 3-month mark of our official debt diet. It came and went this past Sunday without any kind of pomp and circumstance. The mere fact that we’ve been going at this for a 90-day stretch is worth major kudos in my book, so here goes:

Rock on! Good going! Atta’ boy (& girl)! Hooray! Yippee! Yay!

Annnd, that’s enough. =)

Now, on to the business of debt. We’ve still got it, but, thankfully, less of it. I’m not sure how much progress we’ve made since I last posted an update, but as long as we’re not backsliding into the abyss, I consider it a marked improvement. I still think of our budget as an obnoxious thorn in my side, but at this point, it’s more of a minor irritation rather than an inflamed throb (like it was during month 1 … oh, and month 2, lol).

Chris and I have become accustomed to our biweekly Sunday morning shopping trips to the grocery store and to our allowances, which are doled out every other week, as well. We’re both always on the look out for ways to stretch the money we do have, as well as trying to find ways to add more friends to the bank roll (Franklin, wouldn’t you and several of your identical siblings like to join Washington for a playdate?).

Case in point: I went shopping on Sunday with a good friend and while she nabbed some spicy red heels (with a spicy red price to match) at Dillard’s, I perused
the clearanced clearance rack at babystyle and grabbed an adorable onesie for Coop (which he didn’t need) for a whopping 7 bucks. Who-hoo! And, the only reason I indulged in that little treat was because I have my first focus group in the AM, which will pad my pocket with an extra $75 just for chatting for 20 minutes about hair care. Niiice. Can you imagine the life you could lead if your regular jobby job paid $75 for a third of an hour? That would be $468,000 a year — not too shabby.

Too bad no one pays you to whine/write about being in debt. If that were the case, I’d be RICH! =)

-smell you later-
Coop’s Mom (aka Tessa)

Bill(Me) the Kid (Part 5)

Warning! This is a test of the Budget Blues Alert System. This is only a test. If this had been an actual Budget Blues Alert, this warning would have been followed by official whining, crying and a completely irritating diatribe about the injustices of being a budget-conscious consumer in an over inflated economy. This concludes this test of the Budget Blues Alert System.

Oh, hell. Who am I a kidding? This is not a test.

This debt diet sucks monkeys.

Chris and I are approaching the two-month mark in our noble mission to eradicate the mound of bills that clog our mailbox and ultimately weigh down our spirit (need Zoloft, lots and lots of Zoloft). It’s working (see our gold stars below), but it is sooooo hard.
Especially now.

Two much. To do. With so little. Cash.

$ Two weeks ago we had my little sister’s bridal shower.
$ This past weekend Chris’ fam was visiting.
$ We have a financial reprieve this weekend (yee-ha.
Cruising the couch from sun up to sun down).
$ Next weekend is our 4-year wedding anniversary and Chris’ 30th birthday.
$ The weekend after next is my sister’s wedding.
$ The weekend after that we’re going to OK for Chris’
great grandmother’s 98th birthday.

Just when we finish this round of activities, we dive head first into the holidays … Good Will here I come.

We are working diligently on the “creative finances”
aspect of our debt diet, though. Chris made $100 just for showing up to a focus group (they overbooked and ended up not needing him). And he has two more lined up for the next two weeks. The one I was supposed to attend fell through and I have since been contacted for two more (of which I couldn’t participate … I don’t have diabetes and I certainly don’t know the first thing about quilting … too bad the mother-in-law wasn’t in town for that one). Sigh.

DallasChild purchased two of my articles, now it’s just a waiting game for payday (also, waiting to hear back from several other pubs … fingers are crossed). I have my products ready to go up on Craigslist, but every time I sit down to do it, Coop screams for attention (too bad that kid can’t detect police officers gunning speeders as well as he can me needing “mommy time”). I’ve given up on the idea of being a movie extra … I don’t have the time or the energy and unless they’re looking for someone with enough baggage under their eyes to criss-cross Europe, they wouldn’t want me anyway.

So what has the world of penny-pinching, allowances and inventive modes for making money got us, thus far?
* We’ve paid down a $1,000 in credit card bills (which means two cards are now free and clear).
* We’ve whittled away $800 in baby hospital bills (meaning four medical groups can cross us off their hit list).
* And, if we stay on track, we’ll be debt free by next June.

While we’re making great headway, the thing I didn’t expect when we launched into this new way of living was the crazy amount of stress (again with the Zoloft). I have knots the size of melons in my shoulders because I am so guilt-ridden about not being able to afford to throw my little (and only) sister a bachelorette party or my husband a ragin’
30th-birthday bash. I cried on my way home from work Friday because we didn’t have the extra cash for me to play hostess to Chris’ mom, step-dad and grandma the way I normally would.

And Chris is no better than I am. Thankfully, though, when one of us is freaking out, the other has the presence of mind to maintain sanity. Three cheers for teamwork.

I send up a prayer of thankful gratitude nightly that I have been blessed with my new copywriting position (which came with a hefty pay increase) and that Chris’
job has commission perks. If our professional objectives hadn’t aligned when they did, I fear we would’ve been raising our baby in debtor’s prison (at least room and board would’ve been free). =)

On to month three.

This concludes this “test.”

-smell you later-
Coop’s Mom (aka Tessa)

Bill(Me) the Kid (Part 4)

This Wednesday will be the one-month mark in our new debt diet and I’m hoping (and praying) that things start to get easier. Throughout our entire marriage (4 years on October 4), Chris and I have tried to stick to one budget or another, but, ultimately, we always gave in to temptation, letting the spreadsheets and calculators fall to the wayside while we indulged in dinners out, frequent trips back to A-town and the list goes on and on. This is the first time in either of our adult lives that we’ve actually stuck to something — anything (well, except trying for a baby … that we worked on diligently for years).

And I have to admit I’m still not all that comfortable in our newfound miserly ways. It’s like breaking in a pair of new shoes. At first you’re all excited about them and they look great from a distance, but when you get up close and personal you see that they’re squeezing the life out of your poor, sausage-like toes. Yowzer! =)

But, I’m cautiously optimistic that, like new shoes, once I walk around a bit more things will start to take on a better, more form-fitting shape. Plus, as I told the hubby this AM, there’s no point in being negative, it only makes things seem more dire. Anything seems better when you splash some sunshine on it (geez, how Pollyanna is that!!!).

So, in honor of the one-month mark, I am embracing some new ways of bankrolling the baby life:

• Chris and I have both registered with two different organizations to participate in local focus groups (the pay for our opinions — of which I have many, lol — is anywhere from $50-$150. Yay!). I’ve already been called to participate in one next month, now I’m just waiting for the details.
  
• I am currently working on four freelance articles — three for the fall/winter issue of babydallas and one for the October issue of FortWorthChild.
  
• I have several either brand new or barely used baby items that I plan to hock on craigslist, plus a stack of books, magazines and DVDs that are waiting for me to haul down to Half-Price books.
  
• And, if I get up the guts, I plan to call one of the local “movie places” that are always advertising for “extras.” I LOVE movies and I think it would be awesome to see what it’s like on set, and hey, possibly get some $$$ for standing around? Heck yeah! Bonus? It’ll make a great story to tell Coop someday … yes, honey, mommy was so destitute that she auditioned for the part of “woman by the counter” in the Brad Pitt flick as a way to get some quick cash.

-smell you later-
Coop’s Mom (aka Tessa)

p.s. I must confess, I even googled “sell your hair.” Mine has highlights, so that’s a no go (they only want au natural), but at least when we’re living in a cardboard box I can say that I left no stone unturned, lol!

Bill Me the Kid (Part 3.5)

OK, so it wasn’t quite the Netflix and frozen pizza night I had expected. Just after I blogged Chris and I realized Coop needed formula so we made a big night of it at Wal-Mart. And we embraced the budget!

Thanks to Mimi (my mom), Aunt Amy (my sister) and Aunt Rhonda (Chris’ aunt) we had coupons for formula AND diapers. Never a coupon clipper in my pre-baby life, I have to admit I am LOVING these precious scraps of paper.

Since you can only use one coupon per customer per purchase on the formula, Chris and I decided to work the system – hey, money-strapped moms and dads gotta’ do what they gotta’ do. =)

Acting as if we were about to execute the world’s biggest bank heist, we rallied in the frozen food aisles: Me swapping the extra coupon stashed in my purse in exchange for the cash Chris had stuffed in his wallet for groceries. I took two bottles of formula from the cart and headed to the check-out lane. Not wanting to be busted for “doubling up” on coupons, Chris and Coop trailed behind, ultimately sliding into another line three down from mine.

I thought the jig was up when my checker caught me eyeing my boys across the store and smiling. He turned around to see what I was staring at, gave me a knowing glance and then carried on. Oops, lol.

Ten minutes later we were on our way home – a $5 sub for us to share, 65-cent formula for Coop (after the coupons) and a big o’ box of $15 diapers ($2 coupon and YAY! TAX FREE).

Overall we saved $13.04 – not bad for a little covert operation in the frozen foods aisle. =)

-smell you later-
Coop’s Mom (aka Tessa)

Bill-Me the Kid (Part. 3)

Well, it's Tax-Free in Texas, but there won't be any bargains for my bebe! Poo. With our debt diet in full swing there's very little "mad money," with which I can indugle my need to outfit my little guy in the cutest, freshest onesies to hit the rack. What little extra $$ we did have went the way of dinner and drinks at the reunion last weekend. Had I remebered that tax-free was coming, I would've imbibed a little less (who knew that baby clothes and diapers would be included in back-2-school gear!!).

Oh well, that's the point of a budget ... to maximize your money and dig yourself out of debt instead of wasting it on all of the little things. It's not fun and truth be told, it sucks big ones right now. I'm totally bummed about some freelance rejection letters I just received and I could totally use the instant pick-me-ip that shopping the sales and dinner out can provide.

Guess I'll have to take a Netflix night and frozen pizza with my boys. I can hear them laughing hysterically in the bedroom, so I guess I'm getting a pretty greal deal afterall. =) Motherhood is the best pick-me-up (well, most days, ta-he-he.)

-smell you later-
Coop's Mom (aka Tessa)

Bill(Me) the Kid (Part 2)

Chris and I have officially been on our “debt diet” for one week today. While changing 29 years of spending habits is going to take some time (and much, much effort), I have to say I’m pretty proud of the progress we’ve made. We have yet to kill each other, no moneymaking baby schemes have been hatched and we each still have a few precious “allowance” dollars tucked away in our wallets. Yee-ha!

I must admit that I did make a trip to the DISCOUNT shoe department on Sunday, but it was purely out of necessity rather than an overwhelming desire to outfit my feet in a “flashy” pair of flip flops. (Apparently my other diet has caused me to lose weight in my feet and I nearly took out the bathroom counter at work when my tootsies slipped in my favorite black wedges.) I paid for my new shoes out of my “allowance” and – BONUS! - burned a few calories because my screaming baby refused to sit quietly in his carrier so I had to lug him around in my arms as I shopped.

We also went grocery shopping over the weekend. We switched from mostly name brand goodies to store labels, shopped the sales and planned meals (on the cheap) in advance so that we didn’t just grab whatever looked good at the time. We came in $60 under budget (yippee). The extra funds were quickly moved to savings so as not to tempt the impulse buyer lurking inside us both. Also, right after Coop was born we asked friends and family to sign up for Similac coupons and those $5 savings are definitely helping the $6 per bottle purchase price. =)

Our last trick of the week? Limited lunches out with coworkers. Chris took a case of shrimp-and-lime Ramen noodles to stash at his desk and he also intersperses that bargain feast with leftovers. I – always a lover of children’s food – have been indulging in beefaroni and last night’s chicken strips.

While the first seven days have gone pretty well, our true financial test will come this weekend when we head to Abilene for my (gasp!) 10-year high school reunion. Whenever we head home we tend to splurge on shopping, dinners out and liquored libations, lol.

Fingers are crossed that we can stick to our guns — ahem — budget.

-smell you later-
Coop’s Mom (aka Tessa)

Bill-Me the Kid (Part 1)

The mounds of flimsy white envelopes with the celophane window now consume the space in our mailbox that used to be occupied by Glamour magazine and the occassional card from Mom.

Yep, the hospital bills are here.

Chris and I knew babies were expensive, but holy hannah. Let's just say we're experiencing a bit of sticker shock. (Hmm, maybe that whole Rent-a-Baby plan isn't such a bad idea after all.) The sting of poverty really hit home when one of Chris' coworkers (who had a darling baby girl the week after we did) announced that he and his wife hadn't received one bill, instead they actually made money on their tiny bundle. The hospital cut them a check!!

In an effort to make some sense of our financial future, Chris has worked diligently(umm, worked obsessively is probably a better description) all week to create a monthly budget for us. He's created spreadsheet after revised spreadsheet, color-coded each little section and alloted all of our funds to this bill or that ... down to the last dime. (He even has each of us on a bi-weekly allowance! What? No more mad dashes to the baby department for Coop or the shoe section for me? Poo.)

I'll be chronicling our progress - what tricks work (which ones don't), how we're coping, yadda, yadda. Who knows, if we stick to this budget, we should dig ourselves out of the money pit just in time to start on baby No. 2. =)

-smell you later-
Coop's Mom (aka Tessa)