Wednesday, August 27, 2008

what's your fantasy?

Mine is a football season where games are relegated only to Sunday afternoons and the topic of fantasy football doesn't trump all other types of civilized conversation September through February.

Ha! Pftt! Whatev!

Since this would truly be a fantasy world, this year, rather than rolling my eyes at my hubs' obsession with being owner, manager, coach and, essentially, couch-cushion player of and on his own team, I'm joining in.

It's 8:45 and we (the hubs and four family members) just finished our draft picks for team The Shiz Nit. The hubs told me to do my homework, and, since I don't know my ass from my elbow when it comes to football I enlisted the help of a secret weapon ... a friend and coworker who happens to be just as obsessed with this whole fantasy thing as the hubs (sweet!).

After tucking Coop into bed (no whinning, crying, fussing, fighting! hell yes!), I crawled into my own bed with three pages of scribbled notes to my left, a Diet Dr. Pepper to my right and a laptop logged into ESPN in front. At 7:40, we began our official draft via teleconference and, I must admit, I was nervous. I didn't want to come off as the total dimwit that I know I am. And after only one "Um, is she picking him because she likes his name?" comment from the peanut gallery, I proceeded to snag my top picks.

When I ran out of names, I tore through the ESPN Fantasy Football Draft Kit and sent furious text messages to my "secret weapon" (I only had 90 seconds to make my pick per round! Ack, the pressure!).

By 8:35 we were done.

I survived 12 rounds of fantasy football draft picks completely unscathed. There was no reason for the nerves. There was no cussing, no name calling, no "You're a sucka mucka for stealing my guy." And, I must confess, I was, well, disappointed.

Hello, this is football, right? When do the balls comes out? When does the sh$t talk start? When do we get to the good stuff? I'm a mom, after all "I gots allllll kinds of pent up frustration I needs to fling somewhere ... might as well be toward the field."

Maybe things will heat up the first night my team CREAMS the hubs' sad little line- up. =) Bring. It. On.

p.s. In honor of tonight's festivities Coop wore his "My Daddy Plays Fantasy Football" tee. Aww. Now I just need to find one that says, "Oh, and my mommy does to. Daddy's going down!"


courtney said...

i've played fantasy football for the past nine years. the guys get so frustrated with me b/c i come in with what they think is a very weak strategy and i ALWAYS end up doing very well in the league. my strategy? pick hot players. and, when i run out of hot players, my strategy turns to picking players that go by initials for their first name. go ahead--give it a shot. take tom brady first round and watch the eyes roll. you'll get the last laugh! :)

mimipam said...

OK--What have you done with my grandson??? Coopie looks like a 3 year old--I am not ready for him to look so grown-up!!! I guess that's what I get for living so far away...or so afraid to drive in the big bad city!! Great blog--you crack me UP!! lovemimi