Monday, August 13, 2007

I’m Having an Affair …

With the vending machine at work!!! I’ve never worked in a place with such easy access to a smorgasbord of sweet and salty snackage! As I type this I can hear someone plunking change into the slot of Api (Automatic Products International) — the evil beast of metal and munchies that threatens to thwart my weight-loss mission — and I’m jealous that it’s not me. Arrggg!

It’s 11:30 and I’m jonesing big time for a quickie. Every day since I started the new job I’ve met with my secret flame … greedily eyeing Api’s goodies, offering him money, pushing his buttons. It’s FABULOUS. But, like any affair, as soon as the fun and games are over guilt sets in and I feel dirty (crumbs on the shirt and smears of chocolate on the fingers can do that to a person).

I’ve tried to break it off. But I’m weak. I’m a cheater. A junk-food junkie. An addict with no will. No way.

What kind of an example am I setting for Cooper? Sneaking around with Api, hungrily stuffing my face with an obscene amount of "bad list" foods like Twizzlers, Doritos and yes, even several packages of Famous Amos cookies (oh, the shame of it all). I want to be one of those "hot moms" in the pick-up line at daycare, not one hiding the smudges of her deceit behind a cleverly cupped hand as if she was yawning.

I can’t keep up the charade much longer. I’m on an allowance and I’m rapidly running out of change …

-smell you later-
Coop’s Mom (aka Tessa)

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